Wounded

Have you ever had a hangnail? They hurt, don’t they?  Though called a hangnail, this pain-producing object is skin that becomes hard due to lack of moisture and forms like a jagged tag. Once you notice one on your hand, it is difficult to leave it alone.  

A few years ago, I was lying in bed, ready to go to sleep, when a hangnail on my hand became painful, irritating me. I had been massaging it back and forth for several days, trying to get it to release from my skin, but it only got worse. So, I did what you shouldn’t do; I yanked it out quickly.  My finger began to throb, which meant it was likely bleeding, though it was too dark to see. Decision time. Do I get up and attend to my finger or go to sleep in my clean white sheets and see the consequences in the morning?  Well, I found a third option, which I chose.  I gingerly put my hand on Steve’s back and determined that if it bled, it would bleed on him rather than our sheets.  I know that sounds crazy, but it made total sense that night!

In the morning, after checking the sheets for blood, I told him about my decision the night before, and he laughed and said I could bleed on him anytime. I have a great husband for sure, but at that moment, I felt God speak to me about the parallel of how this occurs in our spiritual and emotional lives.

My hangnail had nothing to do with Steve. He didn’t cause it, nor could he fix it. It was my mess. However, my way of dealing with the pain from my hangnail became his mess that night. Why? Because he was safe and nearby, I bled on him. I did.

A little red blood is not too harmful. We can wash the blood off and use spray-n-wash for the sheets. But bleeding takes on a whole new dynamic when we emotionally bleed on each other due to our wounds. This kind of bleeding is harder to wash off.

Unfortunately, we are experiencing a lot of bleeding in 2021. We seem to be massaging our hangnails as we live through this pandemic and then ripping them out. We are fighting over masks, mandates, vaccines, and so much more. Families and churches have split apart, and friendships have splintered as we emotionally bleed on one another.

Have you bled on the people your love? Truthfully, I have been guilty. Our hearts become hard, and we lash out at those close to us because we are in pain. We bleed on whoever is nearby.  Hurt people, hurt people. We need a mental reset after living through a pandemic that continues to affect our lives.

THERE IS A BETTER WAY.  JESUS WANTS OUR HEARTS TO BE SOFT AND PLIABLE.

If you are wounded, it’s time to soften your heart before your cause unnecessary bleeding.  The best way to deal with a hangnail is to soak your finger in warm soapy water several times a day to help the hangnail become soft, pliable, and easy to cut out. The best way to deal with an emotional hangnail is to allow Jesus to soften your heart. It’s time, and it’s your responsibility.

“I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26

If you feel like you are the recipient of someone’s wound, don’t assume you are the cause. It may be a tough season, but you are not the reason for the pain. Instead, your kindness is a blessing and illuminates God’s love for those who are hurting. Thank you.

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:12 -13

The church, from the beginning, has dealt with people who experience pain and emotionally bleed on one another. For example, when Paul wrote to the Philippian church, he asked two women, who were church leaders, to settle their disagreement for the sake of the Gospel.

“Now I appeal to Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement. And I ask you, my true partner, to help these two women, for they worked hard with me in telling others the Good News. They worked along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are written in the Book of Life.” Philippians 4:2-9

Disagreements are a part of life. However, as Christ-followers, we live differently than the world, or at least we should. Therefore, for the sake of the Gospel and because we belong to the Lord, we let love PREVAIL in our life, words, and actions. I need to do better, how about you?

Always desiring to grow,

Liz