What is LOVE?
This song popped in my head after I asked that question:
So, what is love…
What is love?
Oh baby, don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me
No more.
Baby, don’t hurt me,
don’t hurt me
No more
What is love?
Yeah…
No, I don’t know why you’re not fair
I give you my love, but you don’t care
So, what is right and what is wrong?
Gimme a sign…
How many of us remember those times when we thought we were over the moon or out of this world in love? Our loved ones would say things like, “You don’t understand the true meaning love yet.”
Okay, maybe it was just me who had these conversations, but I remember being so dismayed by that statement because I FELT like I was in love, and nothing could take it away! But, then, sure enough, a month later, that feeling would fade. I found myself thinking, maybe my parents were on to something. (Nod your head with me if you have been there too!
As I grew in my understanding of love, I began to learn that it’s so much more than a feeling.
What is your definition of love? Love is _____________________.
In the world we live in today, there are so many definitions of love that cater to individual truths. I’ve read definitions like:
love is love - love is self-love - love is kindness - love is strong - love endures - love is a feeling - love hurt
Some of these definitions I would agree with and some I would not. The problem with redefining words that have already been defined is that it will just mask the truth. When we distort or define words based on our experience or perception, we give it a tainted definition. We can listen to songs as we sang earlier, “What is love baby don’t hurt me…”. We can read Shakespeare’s sonnets and stories about love, but unless the definition of love is true, the love we read about will be skewed and tainted.
To know the true meaning of a word we must go to the author of the word. You’ll find a definition in the dictionary that love is an intense feeling of deep affection or a great interest and pleasure in something. Love is so much more than we can comprehend.
What does God say love is - since He is the Author of the word?
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Solomon 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.
2 John 6 And this is love: that we talk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.
Love has already been defined by the One who is love. Let’s highlight some of love’s definitions from these scriptures:
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is not proud
Love cannot be quenched
Love is walking in obedience
Any definition that conflicts with these is a lie. Love forgives, it does not hurt.
As I reflect and meditate on what love is, I find myself overwhelmed in a good way!
Love, in its truest form, is pure and secure. Not tainted by the subjects and objects of this world. Love binds, heals, restores, fills, completes every longing that we desire. The most powerful force we will ever know is love. Love is not a what. Love is a who.
Love pursues us, longs for us, fights for us, waits for us. Love is deeper than just a feeling. Love holds our God-given identity. Love shows us the way. Love holds us together. Love forgives, perseveres, trusts, hopes, transforms and love keeps no record of wrong.
His love is unconditional and loyal. This love will never fail us and it’s because of this love that I can say: I am loved, and you are loved. We are loved because He first loved us.
His love is all around us. His love is in the details of our lives. His love in our destiny. Are we even aware and ready to receive this love that our Father desires to lavish on us? It is the purest of loves. It is a love that completes and satisfies our heart; a love that should be the standard in our lives.
My husband, Micah, and I will be celebrating 12 years of marriage in October this year! One thing I have learned about love in our marriage is that love grows deep with intentional moments with God and one another. We choose how deep our love will grow. We must be quick to forgive, quick to encourage, quick to listen and slow to speak.
There was no way I could have understood a love like this as a 14-year-old teenage girl. Love is so much more than a feeling. Love is an action. Love is selfless. Love is sacrifice.
Let’s be honest: at that age, who is ready for all of that?! I can still hear the wise words of my mother, “It’s better to be friends first…”. Friendships create space to build a healthy foundation and allow for boundaries to protect the heart from the emotion of love.
One thing I know is that the closer I draw to God, the more I learn about LOVE. Love carries a weight. Love holds value when we understand who authored it. Love is more than a feeling. Love is an answer.
So, what is love? We can say God is love. Let’s define love by it’s true definition and live a life filled with it!
Bethany Marshall
