Fatherless No More
I’m not sure how old I was when I realized that we didn’t have a dad. Growing up in a home with just my mom and my sisters seemed normal to me. Our life was pretty female-centric, with no living grandfathers, and uncles that we rarely saw.
I was almost three when my father passed away, not really old enough to remember him. When I look back, there were not a lot of pictures, if any, on the wall to let me see my old life, so my “fatherless life” was the life that I knew.
I think maybe when I was in grade school I began to think that other families were different. Each year, our school would host a father-daughter dance. It was during this time I realized I had no one to take me. I have to say, it didn’t totally depress me, but it did open my eyes to what I didn’t have.
Growing up without a dad can have some significant impacts on a young girl’s life. Statistics list a few possible outcomes like eating disorders, depression, early sexual activity, addiction, unhealthy relationships, and poor self-esteem. If you take a moment to google this, you will feel pretty sad. The truth is, being fatherless can seem pretty sad. But I’m so thankful that my story doesn’t end with sadness.
You see, when I was around 13 years old, someone introduced me to Jesus and the understanding that not only is He our Savior, but God is our father. Not having any other father to compare to, I was ready to let God have that role in my life. When I looked around at other families I could see the “good fathers”, and the “OK fathers”, and even the bad “uncaring fathers”, so I knew that God would be a good, good, father. With nothing to personally compare to, God became my caring father, who was concerned about my well-being. Allowing Him this place in my heart has been priceless to me,
“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy.” Psalm 68:5 (NLT)
The Bible speaks a lot about God the father. The Bible also tells us that he cares for the fatherless by becoming our father. Isn’t that a beautiful thought for all of us? God, our father is a protector and defender. Not only that, but His word says that He puts us in families! That’s right, God even takes this love to another level.
”God places the lonely in families;” Psalm 68:6 (NLT)
During my teenage years in Pittsburgh, I attended an amazing church, South Hills Assembly of God, where I was mentored by my youth pastor’s wife. Not only was she a beautiful, strong Christian woman, but she became a friend. Jan had wonderful parents who lived about 5 hours away in Cincinnati. The relationship she had with her dad was always beautiful to me. He was a photographer and her house was adorned with amazing family portraits. This is way before social media. The year was 1976 and I was graduating from High School. Everyone was getting their senior pictures done, but in my home, the subject never came up because we didn’t have money for that kind of extra. It did come up with Jan though. She spoke to her father and asked him if he would take my senior pictures for me at no cost. The next thing I knew, we were taking a trip to Cincinnati to get my pictures done. I had never been in a studio like this before. It was beautiful with huge portraits everywhere. I had my sitting which was so much fun and then a few months later, I received the portraits. The thing is, this wonderful man of God did not just do the necessary, he did the extraordinary! He gave me a HUGE portrait of myself that was amazing. He didn’t have to do any of this, but His kindness spoke volumes to me about God’s family and it made me so thankful to be a part of it. I really loved that God had set me in a family during this season of my life. While I was in college, there was a season where I had no home to go back to,(a long story in itself) and I lived with them for a year as I figured out my next steps.
God really is a good Father who cares intimately for you.
Matthew 6:26 (NLT) “Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”
Matthew 7:11 (NLT)
“So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”
2 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT) “And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”
Many people today are just messed up, broken from the inside out with no sense of stability in knowing who they are. What’s the answer to that? I would suggest that it’s this; God the Father. You see, God the Father is anxiously waiting for the adoption to take place. Adoption is such a great picture of the Father’s love. Here on one side, you have a child that’s missing a parent or parentless . He or she, like I once thought, was just destined to live my life that way. On the other side, you have God the Father who is longing to become your parent.
Galatians 4:5 says this; “God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.”
When God’ s word speaks of adoption, it was a legal term speaking of an inheritance that would change your legal name, take away your debts, and give you the rights of a natural born son or daughter.
When we place our faith in Jesus, we are officially adopted into His family. On December 1, 1971 my life changed forever! God became my good, good father. Father’s Day throughout my life has been good. Not only do I get to enjoy seeing my husband be a great dad and poppy to our children and grandchildren, I get to be a child of the best dad ever.
About the Author:
Theresa Decker is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God who serves along with her husband John, as Pastors of Morning Star Fellowship in Quakertown and Pennsburg. Being a first-generation Christ-follower, the joy of seeing lives changed is what fuels the flame for all other church-related things! Fun fact is that she is the proud twin sister to Liz DeFrain who leads Penndel Women with excellence and passion!
Theresa and John have two grown sons and daughters-in-law, along with six pretty amazing grandchildren.