Bouncing Back from a Bad Choice
I remember the moment vividly. I was sitting at my desk contemplating how to fix what seemed like an impossible problem. Feelings of fear and uncertainty mixed with a sense of urgency, pressuring me to make a choice. I came up with what felt like the best option out of a list of all bad options. And in that moment it happened. A nudge from the Holy Spirit, a warning from deep within, advising me NOT to pick that choice.
Although the warning was loud and clear, the fear and feelings of uncertainty on how else things could possibly work out for the good, outside of choosing this option, overwhelmed me, and that fear drowned out the voice of wisdom. I ignored the Holy Spirit’s prompting, and made a bad choice.
In that moment, I didn’t realize it at the time, but I created an Ishmael.
What’s an Ishmael you ask?
Well, it goes all the way back to a story in the Old Testament. God had made a promise to Abraham, to make him the father of many nations. The only problem was Sarah, his wife, was barren. Year after year went by, and Sarah continued to be unable to conceive. She was getting well on past child bearing years, and it started to seem to her that God’s promise was not quite working out. And so Sarah decided to take matters into her own hands. She looked at the options she had, and she made a really bad choice.
Sarah said to her husband, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Genesis 16:2
And with that one choice, Sarah forever changed everything, and NOT for her good! Her husband (very foolishly in my opinion) agreed to sleep with her slave woman, Hagar, and the two conceived a child whom they named Ishmael. No sooner had Hagar become pregnant with Ishmael, she started to despise Sarah. Surprise! Surprise!
Sarah quickly recognized the gravity of her poor choice, and the longevity of the consequences to come from this one bad decision.
You see my friends, Sarah created an Ishmael because she didn’t trust God. And every time we look at our own situation, take things into our own hands, we too end up creating something that we may have to deal with for years to come.
We create them out of fear. We create them when we don’t see how things could ever work out for good otherwise. We create them because we ultimately don’t trust that God’s plans are higher than our plans.
This is exactly how I created mine, and once it was made there was no undoing it. And now, six years later, I am still dealing with the consequence of its creation. I have to live with that, but I will say that the Lord, in His great mercy, has helped me bounce back from this bad choice.
Maybe in your own life, you too have created an Ishmael and are dealing with the consequence of a bad choice. Maybe you lost a job because of a preventable error you made. Maybe a relationship has come to an end because you didn’t make it a priority. Maybe out of fear and desperation you chose to end an unexpected pregnancy. Or maybe you are struggling financially because of some poor monetary decisions. Whatever the Ishmael is that has been created in your life, take some advice from someone who knows how to bounce back from a bad choice.
The first thing you need to do is own your mistake. Admit your error, confess your sin to God, and ask for His forgiveness. He is faithful and merciful to forgive.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
Next, choose to make right by it however you can. If you need to apologize to a person, then apologize. If you need to take action steps to rectify the error, then do so. But whatever you do, don’t sit in a place of blame on others or justifying your actions, it will only make you stay stuck there even longer.
Sarah, in the anguish of her own choice, turned on her husband and blamed him for the grief Ishmael had caused her. How much better would she had been if she apologized for her own transgressions, and opened herself up to receive mercy from the Lord.
“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” Proverbs 28:13
Lastly, and for me this was the hardest part by far . . . forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up! You may have made a bad choice, but now you have the ability to make a better one. Choose for yourself to believe that your mistakes do not define you, they refine you.
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
My friends, I pray you find freedom from any poor choice you have made in the past, receive the mercy of God, and move forward towards the good future God still has for you!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Diane Swan is a Credentialed Assemblies of God Minister, Licensed Professional Counselor, Speaker, and Writer who is passionate about helping ladies live victorious lives in Christ. Diane experienced the radical, transforming power of Christ through salvation at the age of twenty-six, and has since spent every day telling others about the redeeming, restoring, and renewing goodness of God.